The Cats'Tale
Daddy is a math prof. This must be clearly understood our nothing coherent will come from what follows here.(Apologies to Mr. Dickens)

Hello, my name is Pascal Bishop. I have always been of a rather nervous disposition, but when I was a kitten I was tiny, skittish and easily distressed. Mummy thought that Pascal sounded like a good name for such a delicate, almost waiflike, creature as I. Unfortunately, Daddy thought she was referring to Blaise Pascal and that French mathematicians had great cat names. That's why my sister was named Fermat, after Pierre de of the same name.

All went well until Fermat found out that she had a theorem to prove. she went into a tailspin, sometimes climbing onto the roof, crying pitifully to be rescued, only to jump down as soon as a human appeared. This not only confounded the neighbours but frustrated the rest of us.

But then, SHE arrived. A small, endearing, playful, coy and duplicitous Calico named Vircingatorix (Torix). As you may know, Vircingatorix was the leader of the Gauls who had the audacity, nay the gall (no, it's not a pun because they aren't pronounced the same way) to attack Julius Caesar. He faced overwhelming odds and was defeated.

Mummy and Daddy misjudged my sister and me, thinking that the brat would be in the unenviable position of her namesake, vis-a-vis us. So they gave her that improbable name. However, she proved to be much more formidable and pretty much had everything (and everyone) under control in a month. In fact, if the original Vircingatorix had had her cunning, Julius Caesar would have been history, so to speak. But then, we only have his word for how things went in the first place, and he was never one for false, or any other kind, of modesty.